Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho.....Ho.....Ho.....Ho.....................Hum.  Ho Hum.

Christmas greetings to you all!  And a very happy New Year for 2007!

That was 2006 then.  Went quickly didn't it?

This year I appear to have achieved even less than usual - which for someone who was once given a Mister Man book entitled:  "Mr Lazy"  (by one Lucy Dixon, in the Brown Street Star as I remember it) with the personalised inscription "to the laziest man I know..." is, I suppose, an achievement.

I managed 3 weeks off with a bad back - a definite plus - although I went 10 days without any alcohol as a result.  Contrary, as I was later advised, to medical advice.  Depends on which Doctor you consult of course. 

I had to change my glasses to Varifocal Lenses - they are like Bifocals only they appear to have three different lenses in them rather than two - though where exactly one lens stops an the next starts is a mystery to me.  They fade into each other.  At least I can read now without having to take my glasses off - and put them back on - and take them off again - and find some light - and put them on again.  I am told that the lens is "shaped" and that some of it is for peripheral vision rather than acute vision.  The Optician encouraged me to move my head more and point my nose at things I want to see!  So - if my nose isn't pointing at you, it is unlikely that I will be able to see you.  You will just be - peripheral.  The rot creeps on.

I also reached 25 years of service at FP on December 14th - I wonder if they know just how lucky they are to have me?  All these years and not once have I raised a single word of criticism.  Loyal indeed.  I have now reached a point where I no longer know what my redundancy is worth but have a very keen idea of how much my pension will be.  Only another 18 years to go then.  By that time I should be about 65 and senile.  (Not that I can't do senile now if the mood suits me.)  What really worries me is that I am regularly asked if I am retired.  If people are saying this to me now - what will they say in 10 years time?

Beerex returned!  We have been without the Salisbury Beer festival for a few years, but it came back this year at the St Edmunds Arts Centre - itself refurbished - in a new smaller format.  No-one, bar a small band of  committed enthusiasts, knew that the tickets were going on sale!  This was the whole queue - excluding me - minutes before they were due to start selling.  In the good old days - long, long ago, there would have been a queue stretching for miles!  The queue itself was a major social event.  Not now.  Still, we had a jolly good time (at the Beer festival - not in the queue for tickets).  Steve Garrick - grinning on the far left - made it into the Arts Centre before me - I was tardy on the day.  Tut Tut.

David and Jena Hartley convinced me to join them on a CAMRA Pub crawl by mini bus to the Chutes - some Villages somewhere near Andover?  I have been a member for a number of years but me being me, have never actually done anything and I have certainly never joined in or gone anywhere.  It was a very exciting evening.  In the darkness I got into the back of a Mini Bus.  We drove for a bit and I got out in what appeared to be a Pub Car Park.  Drank beer.  Got back in bus and drove a bit more.  I have no idea where, as the windows were misted over and it was night outside.  Arrived at another Pub.  Still no idea what any of these Pubs were called.  Eventually we arrived somewhere about midnight.  I got out and was most surprised to find it wasn't a Pub.  It was my house.  I shall have to go again.  They were all very friendly and I had a  good time, although for some reason my head hurt a bit the next day.  Perhaps next time I will have a better idea of what is going on.

Speaking of Beer - I haven't been in the Haunch for 2 years now! 

I have always believed myself to be selfless in my support for my common man, especially the       youths of the City.  You can read of my specific acts of  goodwill to cyclists on the Town Path, in a special tale for Christmas, should you so wish.

Ken Evans, Mark Steele and various IT bodies from FP,  have escorted me to Golf courses - for which I am indebted.  Lots of lessons and a huge amount of practice have returned my game to exactly where it was 10 years ago.  Which is actually worse than it was in January.  At one point I found myself standing in underpants and socks in my Osteopaths consulting room, demonstrating a new Golf swing.  He was more interested in changing my back swing than in fixing my back.  Have you ever tried demonstrating a Golf swing when you can't even walk?  I think he had something though.  There are better things to come! 

Recently I have been investigating my family tree.  I have not looked at my Fathers side of the family yet so have come across no cattle thieves or convicts thus far.  Although I have found a number of 19th Century ancestors in Yorkshire including a Tea Dealer cum Greengrocer and a Cab Driver.  Cab Driver - That's with horses and involves sitting outside the vehicle.  Can you see me as a Tea Dealer and Greengrocer?  Or perhaps as a Cab Driver?  In Yorkshire on a nice rainy day?  Must be where I get my liking for drab depressing weather.

In other news:

I have seen Clives a couple of times.  Carolyn was last seen on her way to buy dog food (see, none of your secrets are safe with me) and Julian can be seen strangely garbed to the left.  I understand that the Clive household has reached that particular point in life called - Exams.  I remember Exams.  Good old exams.  How I loved them.  Wish I'd passed some?

The other gentleman with the strange headdress is Mark Steele.  He of course it was, who led Julian astray.  I visited Mark and Sue's lovely cottage, along with lots of  Clives, for a Barbecue in the Summer.  Have a look at their super website where you can find out exactly what those Steele's are doing with Alpaca's.

Jus and Ash Bevan have a new daughter, Josie - I have been enjoying Josie's blog although this is more to do with Charlie the Cat. 

Nick and Catherine Nobbs  doubled their number of offspring with Juliana Maryam joining Sassandra in September.  They are in far off  Kuala Lumpar - hope all is well with the Nobbs.  There is a warm beer waiting for you in a British Pub.

Carolyn Clive has been promoted to Assistant Manager at Barclays!  While many of us were  pretending to be Students, or losing Jobs, or generally loafing about in those Cathedral Hotel days in the Seventies, Carolyn was the only one with a real job - and she is still doing it!  There can't be many roles in the Bank that Carolyn hasn't done, so her promotion is well earned and much overdue.  Well done Carolyn!

Ottakars bit the dust and now seems to think it is Waterstones - as we are all big Ottakars fans here in Salisbury this is a pity.  It also means some people are moving away.  Jon and Caroline Howells would very much like to move to somewhere far to the east,  near the place where they have smog and Pearly Kings and Queens.  But first they need to sell their very desirable house in Wilton - so if you know anyone who wants to move to Wilton - point them at Caroline. 

I have also been watching Mick and Ruth Downings Blog from Spain.  Strangely it seems to consist of a building site, but no Spanish builders. It's coming along nicely.  They have their own Orange Trees too.  I have things growing in my garden but I would never put them in my mouth - they've been left outside!

That's probably enough rubbish for this year.  I hope you all have a very happy Christmas and a jolly New Year.  I intend to read a bit, sleep a bit, have the occasional beer and I might even clean the kitchen floor.  But then again, I might not.  See - Lucy Dixon was quite right. 

Bah!  Ho Hum indeed......

Mac